Ahh, the VMA’s. Did you know they were still happening? We didn’t. MTV upped their anti this year with a social media overhaul, we’ve been talking about the VMA’s for weeks to the point where it felt like they’d already happened. Nevertheless, we grabbed the popcorn and tuned in from start to finish, desperately waiting for Miley Cyrus’ nips to slip.
Versace Versace Versace. Miley Cyrus’s little number left absolutely nothing to the imagination, but what did you expect for a young lady best known for sandwiching herself between Robin Thicke and a foam finger (Insert Best of Both Worlds joke here)?
Selena Gomez sparkled in Calvin Klein. Sleek, simple, sexy. We approve.
Supermodel-turned-singer-turned-actress Cara Delevigne Delvingne Delevingne (We’ll learn how to spell your last name soon, pinky swear!) looked divine in a little Saint Laurent flapper dress. *swoon*
Rebel Wilson….. NEXT!
Model Squad Leader Taylor Swift wore gold, silver, and bronze houndstooth from Ashish. We’ve sent out a search party for her bellybutton but in all honesty she could have sold it to the devil for that model figure I cry over at night.
The Weekend wore a mop on his head… NEXT!
My Husband Brooklyn Beckham looked as gorgeous as ever. He’s legal now, ladies. *swoon*
Nicki Minaj channeled her inner Egyptian Goddess in Labourjoisie. We have no words. Madame Minaj, you’ve come a long way from Superbass, yet you managed to keep that superb ass. Preach!
Justin Bieber looked like (s)he was ready for a lesbian singles mixer… NEXT!
Britney Spears looked faaaaabulous in a embellished gold mini dress by Labourjoisie. Slicked back ponytail and ombré tips only Britney could pull off. Vegas is doing you well honey. APPROVED!
Lady of the Night FKA Twigs looked uhhhhhh…. She was wearing Atelier Versace. P.S girl how do you get your hair to do that? Call me!
Least followed of the Kardashian/Jenner clan Kourtney Kardashian and Kris Jenner were there. They could be heard somewhere in the back shouting “we’re still here!”
Most unfamous famous person Rita Ora wore Vera Wang when honestly she should have just stayed home.
Kim Kardashian Kylie Kardashian Kylie Jenner pulled this hot little Balmain number from twin big sister Kim Kardashian’s closet.
The U.S.A’s next First Lady, Kim Kardashian wore (you guessed it!) Balmain. Need we say more? NEXT!
Strippers turned D-Listers Amber Rose and Blac Chyna wore outfits that certainly made a statement in matching jumpsuit and dress made by “two feminists in Philly”. I mean… at least they’re self-aware.
Gigi Hadid who hasn’t yet learned when to say no to the sun-beds glowed in a yellow Emilia Wickstead dress.
Queen of Coachella Vanessa Hudgens travelled from the forest via fairies to the VMA’s in a stunning Naeem Khan organza gown, complete with gold chokers, bangles, and rings. APPROVED
My Future Husband Nick Jonas forgot to come home last night. If you see him, please send him back to my front door.
